Chuck jokes
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.