Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...

Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.

Chuck Norris is...

What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?

Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.