Chinese Jokes

One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

Why don't Chinese people play cricket?

Because they ate all the bats!

Everything is made in China... except for baby girls

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!

How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.

What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.

What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?

Cantonese...

Why is there no phone in China?

Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.

What do you call a Chinese car thief?

Tommy Tookamota.

Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"

Did you hear about the Chinese student?

Me neither.

Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?

How do Chinese parents name their children?

Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.

Q: Name a murderer?

A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.