Children jokes
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
Why do orphans play Roblox? Because there is a game called "Adopt Me!"
I once gave birth to 3 children.
"Jonny, Jonny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa."
"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?
Home.
What did the orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.