Children jokes
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.