Children jokes
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Memes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
One hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.