Children jokes
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
Best way of abortion?
Beyblade abortion.
LET IT R.I.P.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, One fell off and bumped his head. The momma called the doctor and the doctor said... “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”