Children jokes
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.