Children jokes

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

What do orphans call their parents?

Unicorns because they don’t exist.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

"And here comes the second one!"

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.

Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.

Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

Why do orphans hate school?

No field trips. Parent signature_____________.