Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
