Children jokes
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.