Childcare jokes
We should bully foster parents more for raising parent-less nobodies.
Why do orphans love foster homes?
Because they actually have a home.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Orphanage protest jokes here!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.