New Childcare Jokes

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

Best not leave hungry kids unattended!

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage :)

What do you call an orphanage?

A parent-less shelter/homeless shelter.

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

I'm sweating like Michael Jackson at a kindergarten.

We should bully foster parents more for raising parent-less nobodies.

I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage :)

People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.

Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.