Childcare jokes
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 馃懝
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
You drown it.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 馃ぃ.
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
What school can鈥檛 orphans go to?
Home school.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage鈥攜ou make it, we take it."
What鈥檚 the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They鈥檙e both alone, but only one is home.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn鈥檛 pay for haircuts.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.