Child jokes
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?