Child jokes
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
Memes
Me when kids
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.