Back
Child

Child jokes

Dad

My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.

Then I asked him how many years ago.

He replied with, "When were you born?"

Furry

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

Michael Jackson

What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

  • 2

    • PC

    What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

    Memes

    Child memes

    Aquarium

    You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

    Father

    Mom: Daddy, stop!

    Me: No!

    Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.

    Abuse

    What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

    You can’t abuse an alligator.

  • 2

    • Xbox

    What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?

    They both get turned on by children.

    Test

    Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

    Son: Ok dad.

    AFTER TEST

    Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

    Son: Son?

    Torch

    I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

    Orphan

    Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?

    Because the joke needs parental guidance.

    Word

    What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

    Year

    🎆 New Year's Eve

    Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"

    Mom👱🏻‍♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"

    Dad👨🏻‍🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"