Child jokes

Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.

A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."

They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.

God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.

Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?

Because she loves raisin kids.

Q: Why can orphans swim?

A: They have or-fins.

Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."

Orphan: And I took that, personally.

What is red and very rare?

A child in a blender.

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.

Then I asked him how many years ago.

He replied with, "When were you born?"

What does a priest and a clown have in common?

They both make children cry.

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

Mom: Daddy, stop!

Me: No!

Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?

Cause they don’t know where home is.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.