Child jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.