Child jokes
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
Memes
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.