Child jokes
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
Heh, stupid orphan.
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
They never reached home.