Child jokes
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
What’s worse than three babies in one garbage can?
One baby in three garbage cans.