What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
A Child asks his teacher to go to the toilet "before you go recite the alphabet" the teacher says a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z "good but wheres the p?" "running down my leg"
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child? The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
What’s one good thing about child Molesters? They drive slow in a school zone
Q: What did I find on my son's search history. A:Where is the nearest gun shop.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?it's not like they'll tell there parents.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
today i saw my son lick out a tub of butter, i told him to make a sandwitch without butter for a week (as a punishment) he said 'ok' and licked the bread. 'it's really easy to spread' he said. LOL!
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
Boy: mom why are drinking this disgusting red soup, I wanted salad Mom: quite son we only get this once a month
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
A pedophile is at a School Parent night. He's holding hands with a Eight year old Girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him oh what a darling little girl you have there. The Pedophile replies no then points his finger to a child across the room and says that's my child.
A pedophile is sitting at a empty Poker Table. A Eight year old kid asked him if he can sit down. Pedphile says to the child sure lets play.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
A boy breaks a vase and his mom says its ok honey mistakes happen how do you think you were born
