Child jokes
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.