So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
Heh, stupid orphan.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.
