I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
A orphan came out the closet to there parents as gay. Oh wait. Continue.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
