Child jokes
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?
Homecoming.
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
What is an emo kid's favorite game?
Hangman.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.