Child Jokes

There were 5 people on an airplane.

1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."

"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."

The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.

The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.

The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.

Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"

And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"

What do you call an orphan?

Kyan.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they have nowhere to run home.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?

"Adopt Me."

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

What is an orphan versus orphan competition?

Who will get adopted first?

(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)

Baby: Wait for me!

(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)

(He squishes the child.)

Father: Ketchup!

I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

Why can you hit an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.