Child jokes
Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?
Answer: A home.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Like if you know an orphan.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.