do you know why orphans cant get married. because they will never get there parents blessing
My mom said i need Jesus in my life, So I drunk up the holy water ;}.
You're the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
My Relatives Always Teased Me During Weddings saying " You'll Be Next " But they Stopped when I did the same to them during Funerals
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park .
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma. Why is that man in a box?" and she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "WHAT KIND OF BOX DID HE LIVE IN BEFORE?! HOW IS THIS BOX BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE?! IT'S JUST A BOX!" And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
why was the people's wedding so miserable... cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky they agreed to never try to have another wedding
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said “Of corpse”!
Hi I love you 06/02/2020 3:19 PM Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdfDear Grad Parents,Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.There will be more information to follow in the coming days.Thank you.
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What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me
Why do brides wear white?
So the match the kitchen appliances
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
A 6 year old girl decides to get baptized, she walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her In the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl was drowned and died... later on when the pastor was better and thrown in jail. All he had to say to the mortified family was “well, at least she’s in heaven!”
At weddings, old people tell kids "you're next". At funerals, little kids tell old people "you're next".
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony? May divorce be with you.
