Ceremony

Ceremony Jokes

Baptism

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

Seafood

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Girl

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

Funeral

At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.

Funeral

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

Cremation

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

Parent

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

Baptism

Why was baptism invented?

How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?

Orphan

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Priest

Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.

Newborn

I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.

Funeral

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Cremation

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Orphan

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.