Cause jokes
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."