why cant orphans never get a car? cause they don't have a birth certificate
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
orphans must hate 2020 cause you need a home to home school
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?
'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos
Yo Mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi it caused a level 8 tsunami.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
Why can't the orphan run past third base: Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
