Catholic jokes
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
Kevin McClean
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.