Catholic jokes
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?
Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
My dog died.
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
