Catholic jokes
Lol, I have a teeny black dick.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.
I’m in catholic school.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Taig
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Kevin McClean