Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Catch Jokes
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
Which tower is better at playing catch? The south tower, obviously. It caught 2!
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
