Catch

Catch Jokes

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

The teacher replied, "Home."

The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

When I was very young...

My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.

They are rapists now.

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.