Catch Jokes

while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming

Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?

A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with me beard". Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull"

What did the North tower say to the south tower. "sorry can't talk, got to catch a plane"

Riddles not jokes

What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

What has bark but no bite?

There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

What has holes but can carry water?

What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

What can you catch but not throw?

and last one

What can rule, but not command?

Tell meh the answers in the comments

like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

1 more thing: DoN"t google it or search it up, use ur brain to answer these.

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over hear at a discounted 75 percent off. Customer: Okay? What's the catch. That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top of the line urns and will keep your loved ones remains secure and dry. Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep these have only been used once so it's is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

Girls are like a bus you might miss the first bus an catch the second bus

Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".

The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.

The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".

The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork

EatDatPussy445 aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland is a pedophile and he is in Las Vegas right now GOGOGO catch him

Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.

what is the point of buttchinns? To catch flies

Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

Myq sister told only onions make you u cry so i alway hit her back when she hit me but i hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

what hits the ground first a apple or a emo girl..... the rope would catch her

Gen z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."