Catch jokes

How do you catch an elephant?

Act like a peanut.

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

He didn't know where home was.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!

"Is your refiger running?"

"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?

Catch you later!

What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Which tower is better at playing catch? The south tower, obviously. It caught 2!

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?

With a pitchfork.

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)