Catch jokes

Why don't orphans play tag?

Because there's no one to catch.

Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

He didn't know where home was.

How do you catch an elephant?

Act like a peanut.

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?

Catch you later!

"Is your refiger running?"

"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"

Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.

So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?

With a pitchfork.

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

Dads are boomerangs, I hope.

"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021

Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.