My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.
Ok I put one penny down do you smell anything? :1 scent I put two penny's down do you see any fruit? :2 pairs I put three penny's down do you see and law enforcement? :3 coppers I put four penny's down do you see any cars? :4 Lincolns I put 5 penny's down do you see any pussies? : NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
To People who say that depression hits hard... The car begs to disagree
What's the difference between the barracuda car and fish?
The fish can't go fast.
My friend walk down street, wee wee on car
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?........ Aaaawwwww I got dicklash
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming? Fresh road kill.
I love ❤️ taking my daughter out in the car 🚙 every time we go over a speed bump I tell her we ran over another dog 🐕😂
Student: There is 505 rocks in a car, if 8 fall out how many are left Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left Student: Ok!! Student: How do you put a alligator in a closet Teacher: You can't it wont fit Student: No!! Student: Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door Teacher: Ohhh now i get it
Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices
My dad drove past a graveyard he said “I won’t be buried there.” I asked why. He said “Because I am not dead yet”
There’s Two Mexicans in a car Whose driving
A Cop
Why did the lady go to the dealership... because she was going to get hereford.
How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS". Bill Says, "Ok". The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it..It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!
There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma'm and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
