Cant jokes
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
(Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why I made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Hi guys, I'm back, and YES, two jokes/blogs in one day. I KNOW. I just have nothing to do!!! So today I'm going to tell you how to get what you want from your parents!!! And there will be a joke at the end too. Enjoy!
So the prank that I have for you guys today is, make sure you have glue, dye, and a toothbrush that is not yours >:) So you are going to put the dye in the glue and then put the glue on the toothbrush and give it to your sibling and say, "Here. I got your toothbrush ready for you." Then, make sure they take it. Once they take it, run so that they cannot hit you once they taste it.
Thanks for reading this prank today guys!!! I hope it works out for you, and I can't wait to hear what happens with you guys in the comments below, so make sure to comment and tell me what happened when you pulled this prank!! Sorry, Prankster, if this is offensive to you since you do pranks too. I will not do them anymore if you don't want me to :) Thanks for reading guys, and here is that joke I told you about :)
Yo mama is so fat, when she got in the car, the wheels popped.
So I know this was not the best joke, and I can do better, but I will keep trying and see you guys next time! Bye!!! :)
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it a home run.
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
