Cant jokes
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?