Cant jokes
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
Man I hate it when companies do this crap, now you can't commit toaster bath anymore
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.