Cant jokes
Why can't Juice WRLD play COD Zombies? He can't handle 6 perks.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.