Cant jokes
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
Why can't orphans become criminals? Because she isn't wanted.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."