Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
