Cant jokes

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

Why can't orphans go on school trips?

"Parents signature _________"

Why are feminists always against men?

Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?

A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic?

When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?

My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?

My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!

The songs: We understand you :)

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?

We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.

Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight

Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."

Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."

Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.

Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.