Cant jokes

Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't find home plate.

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

Why can't the USA and England play chess?

USA has no towers and England has no queen.

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."

I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.

Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."

Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."

What has 50 legs but can't walk?

25 disabled kids.

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.

Why can't orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.

Why can't Hitler join track?

Because he can't even finish a race.