It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
