Cant jokes

Orphan

Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.

Guy

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

Orphan

Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.

Memes

School Shooter

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

Chess

Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?

He can't choose between black or white.

Comeback

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

Perk

Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?

Because he can't handle 6 perks.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.

Kid

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

Baby

Ex: baby i miss u.

Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.

Ex: who died?!

Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.

Grandpa

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.