Cant jokes

Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)

Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?

Because he's always spotted.

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.

It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself

Why can't depressed people leave the maze?

Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

"White people can't jump"...

"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.

You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.

What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.