Cant jokes
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
Gun
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
Why can't orphans go on school trips?
Parent's signature.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.