Cant jokes
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
Reasons
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
Why did Sally stay in school?
Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy" 😔
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"