Cant jokes
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy" 😔
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."