Cant jokes
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy" 😔
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?