Cant jokes
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Knock knock.
Boo.
No need to cry, it was only a joke. Yeh, I can't think of anything.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
Why are orphans gay? Because they can’t come out to anyone.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Why can't orphans have family time?
They don't have a family.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?