Cant jokes
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!" The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because the home button does not work.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.