Cant jokes
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
Parents' signature _______________________________
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.