Cant jokes
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be criminals?
They aren't wanted...
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*