Cant jokes
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.