Cant jokes
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.