Cant jokes
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
What has two left legs š¦µ but canāt walk? An airport.
Why are tomatoes š the slowest vegetable?
Because they canāt ketchup.
Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.
You can tune a guitar, but you canāt tuna fish.
Why canāt you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent āp.ā
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they canāt do anything right.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What has two legs but canāt walk? Pants š
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Why canāt orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they donāt know where home is.
Why canāt orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.