A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know somethings gonna happen, I can just feel it
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient. The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient". Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants. Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage. After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control. Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?" The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue. What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ! What instrument can a skeleton play? A TromBONE!
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a baby
Why do orphans commit crimes?
So they can be wanted for once.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount, I served in the war?" The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?" "Nein," said the old man.
What does the initials NOW stand for? (A.) National Organization For Women (B.) National Organization of Whores (C.) All the above Answer: Since the initials Now can stand for anything the correct answer is all the above
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
Whats worse than placing 10 babys in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans....
whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? a hooker can wash her crack then sell it again
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
