Canning jokes

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It's not like it can tell its parents.

What store can an orphan never find?

Home Depot.

What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Why was the Orphan boy gay?

So he can call someone Daddy.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

Why do orphans go to church?

So they can call someone father!

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.

9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.