Canning jokes

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

Why did the orphan become a str1pper?

So she can have someone to call daddy.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?

Imaginary parents.

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My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.