Canning jokes
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
Memes
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
What can a physically handicapped â¿ gay man ð¬ do on his own very well ð without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.