Canning jokes
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.
It's not like they can tell their parents.
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
Memes
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never score home.
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)