Canning jokes

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because it can never find home.

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Why do people always bully orphans?

'Cause what can they do? Tell their parents?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never get a home run. 😭

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?

A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.

Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.

Can emo kids get a happy birthday?

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex!

Dad: We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...

Why do orphans like Darth Vader?

So he can say, "I'm your father!"

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?