Canning jokes

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

They can never do a home run.

What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.

It's not like they can tell their parents.

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?

A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...

Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.

Can emo kids get a happy birthday?

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex!

Dad: We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never get a home run. 😭

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

Why do people always bully orphans?

'Cause what can they do? Tell their parents?

Why do orphans like Darth Vader?

So he can say, "I'm your father!"

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!