Cannibal jokes
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
What do you call a cannibal without any eyes? A cann-bal :)
"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"