Cannibal jokes
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
I have ligma.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.
These are all of my terrible jokes.
Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright, but the reception was amazing.
A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said, "I'll serve you but don't start anything."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says, "Does this taste funny to you? I'm joking of course!"
Dejamoo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor "I can't feel my legs." The doctor said, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says, "Dam!"
A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out for a "small medium at large."
A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem.
What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh.
A priest, a rabbi, and a cleric walk into a bar. The cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens.
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart.
I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis.
A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart.
Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels were a lie.
What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck.
Why couldn't the dinosaur break the wall? I don't know. I'm asking you.
Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker? She has dementia.
There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It's an owl it can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
What do you call a cannibal without any eyes? A cann-bal :)