Cancer

Cancer jokes

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So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?

A: Tumor.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"

Jimmy: "That's great!"

Doctor: "A horse with cancer."

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    • 1: My grandpa died last year.

    2: What kind of cancer?

    1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

    A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

    Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

    Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.

    Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.