Painter jokes
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
Memes
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.