Painter jokes
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.