Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Can Jokes
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?
