Came

Came jokes

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

I don’t see what the problem is.

The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!

  • 1

    • This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"

    I replied, "I done it as a joke."

    -April 1, 2020

  • 3

    • This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

    Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

    In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?

    Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?

    There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

    When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

    My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

    How many emos does it take to fix a light?

    I don't know because they never came down.

    Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

    "This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

    "What's been going on, John?" I asked.

    "Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

    The dirty bastard!

    My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

    When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

    So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

    The next day I saw a dead orphan.