Call jokes

What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?

Twilight Special.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."

What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?

Cold War.

What do you call a group of black people?

A hoodie.

Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.

At school I am always called emo.

Little did they know that emos are wannabe goths.

What do you call a sad Doge?

What?

Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?

Surrounded by loved ones.

What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?

In trouble!

What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.

What do you call an under-the-weather seven?

A sick seven.

What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?

A leaf.

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

What was the movie about the dog called?

The woof of Wall Street.

Why did an orphan kill ET?

To phone home.

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.