Call jokes
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an abo with a shotgun?
Sir.
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”