Call jokes
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.