Call jokes
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
I threw a gay person into a fire. Now we call him LGBBQ.
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
What do you call an Asian k9? E10