Call jokes
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What do you call a gay person who is gay but just can't admit it? A Filipino.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?
"Eye torture!"
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
What do you call Cyanne when she first wakes up? Nanny McPhee.
What do you call a dwarf?
Adrian!
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.