Call jokes
What do you call a tree?
A treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What do you call a racist community? America.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.
The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......
What do you call a binder with no rings?
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.