Caesar's jokes
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars but they got jets.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.