Caesar's jokes
"Julius Caesar" isneezer
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”